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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout escort, yes? Very nice! I watch “Shame,” best movie, oh sexy time in it make me crazy! Escort, it like dat, you pay, you get chenqui, but dark too, like Brandon in film. He say, “I’m not playing games,” when he chase dat feeling, ya know? Me, I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she sneaky, hide in goat barn! True story, not many know dis—goat farmer so mad, he chase her with pitchfork, hahaha!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. He’s got a huge smile and a basket of fresh strawberries. I’m like, “Where’d you get those?” Turns out, he picked them from a farm down the road. I swear, they were the juiciest strawberries I’ve ever seen. So, I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Best moment of the day, hands down.

Japan, my home