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About Osaka

I reckon it’s a laugh though, yeah? You get bare stories. Like, my mate Dave—met a lass who wanted him to dress as a clown mid-date. He’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t Bozo!” I pissed myself laughin’. Sex-dating’s wild—sometimes you’re the king, sometimes you’re the joker. Gets me hyped, but also vexed when they flake. “They’ve stopped, it’s over,” I mutter, like in the film, when the vibes just die.

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So, I’m munching on my onigiri, walking down the street, and I see this cute little park, Kikuchi Park, I think? It’s got these cherry blossoms that are just chef’s kiss. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

Astros bolster rotation with Jays lefty Kikuchi