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About Saitama

So, last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, feelin’ like a stud—how you doin’? —and I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin’ a cig like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Joey, don’t be a schmuck, say somethin’ smooth.” But nah, I just stare, cause I’m an idiot. She winks, I’m hooked—bam! Turns out, she’s been workin’ that corner since the 90s, a freakin’ legend. Little known fact: some of these girls got nicknames—like, she’s “Cinnamon” cause she once threw a spice jar at a rude john. Hilarious, right?

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After that, I head down to the main square. It’s buzzing! Street vendors, kids runnin’ around, and the smell of takoyaki in the air. I swear, if I could bottle that smell, I’d be a millionaire. But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, trying to sell lemonade. He’s got this sign that says “Best Lemonade Ever!” I’m like, “Kid, you’re gonna need a better pitch than that.” But I stop, buy a cup. It’s actually pretty good! I’m surprised.