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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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When I get there, it’s chaos. Workers everywhere, machines blaring. I’m tryin’ to park my tractor, and this guy waves me off. “Not there, man!” I’m like, “Where do you want me to park, on the moon?” Finally, I squeeze in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Everyone’s runnin’ around, and I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ to keep my cool.