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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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But then, I’m walking back, and I pass by the Kashiwa Station. It’s packed, as usual. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kind of video game. And then, BAM! I bump into this lady. She spills her coffee all over me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” She’s super apologetic, but I’m just standing there, drenched in coffee, thinking, “This is not my day.”

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