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So, sex-dating—apps, sites, all that jazz. Tinder, Bumble, fuckin’ Grindr if ya swing that way—pure chaos, mate! *slurs* Sharon, where’s me phone? Ya make a profile, toss up a pic—none o’ that blurry 90s shit—and ya dive in. Little known fact, right? Back in the 80s, folk used newspaper ads for this! “Single lad, 30, seeks bird for shaggin’”—mental, eh? Now it’s all instant, bam, nudes in ya inbox. Gets me blood pumpin’, but fuckin’ hell, the catfishin’—pisses me off! Some twat with a fake pic, reckonin’ they’re a 10. Mate, I’d rather shag a goat than meet that liar.

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But then, the mood shifts. This other player, let’s call her Ms. Grumpy, starts losing. She’s fuming, throwing her cards down like they’re trash. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a game!” But she’s not having it. She storms out, and I’m left thinking, “Wow, people take this way too seriously.”

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