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About Kobe

What pisses me off? These clowns catfishing! Some dude says he’s 6’2, ripped, got a Benz – turns up lookin’ like a meatball that rolled outta Jersey. Waste’a my time! I ain’t here for no bait-n-switch, capisce? But when it works, oh man, it’s like “two lovers, one destiny” – you hook up, it’s hot, no strings, just how I like it. Got this one gal, met her on Tinder, she’s all about the quickie life. Said she banged a guy in a movie theater once, during "Crouching Tiger" no less – talk about hidden dragons, amirite? Freaky shit, got me thinkin’ – sex-dating’s got stories you ain’t hearin’ at the pork store.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down to Kanie Park. It’s this cute little spot with a pond and all these ducks. I sat on a bench, just watching the world go by. And then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and BAM! Right into the pond! Ducks freak out, and I’m dying laughing. Like, kid, you just made my day!

Malawian female scientist Nyovani Madise appointed by UN to draft Global Sustainable Development Report