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One time, I’m strollin, half drunk, and this gal—Olga, maybe?—she’s all, “Come with me, handsome!” I’m like, eat my shorts, Olga, you’re prolly a cop! Surprised me how bold they get—zero fear. Happy vibes tho, cuz I dodged that bullet. Coulda been a sting, man! Cops here love bustin dudes for fun.

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Finally, I grab the cat, and it’s all purring and stuff. I’m feeling like a rockstar. I hand it to the kid, and he’s over the moon. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat.” But he’s looking at me like I just saved the world.