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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to take a stroll down to Iwata’s famous Yaguchi Park. It’s beautiful there, especially with the sakura trees. I needed a breather. But guess what? It started pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m dodging raindrops like I’m in some action movie. I was soaked in seconds. I mean, c’mon, Iwata! Can’t a person catch a break?

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