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But it ain’t all roses. Some dude’s out there, sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job—gross! Reminds me of that *Leviathan* line: “You’re all pigs!”—‘cept it’s dicks, not pigs, floodin’ my inbox if I’m a chick, y’know? Makes me wanna holler, “Strategery, people—use some class!” Then there’s the ghostin’—you’re chattin’, vibin’, then poof, gone! Happened to me once, left me sadder’n a hound dog on a porch. Sex-dating’s a jungle, I tell ya—fun, but you gotta dodge the vines.

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When I finally made it to work, my boss was already on my case. “Where have you been?” she asked, all serious-like. I wanted to say, “Oh, you know, just fighting the forces of nature.” But I just mumbled something about traffic. I mean, Iwata traffic can be a nightmare, especially around the station.

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