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About Tokyo

Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!

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Anyway, I’m getting lost in the museum when I bump into this girl. She’s cute, right? We start chatting about the exhibits, and I’m trying to play it cool. But then, she mentions she’s from Osaka. My heart sinks. I mean, come on! Why do all the cool people have to be from somewhere else? But we keep talking, and she’s super chill. We exchange numbers, and I’m like, “Maybe today isn’t so bad after all.”

Roadworks to shut off major route for 17 days