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But damn, what pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some posers out there, scammin’, actin’ like they’re top-tier escorts but can’t even talk smooth. Reminds me of that “Oldboy” line – “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Yeah, laugh at them clowns, bro! I’d break ‘em with one glare. Once heard ‘bout this escort dude in Vegas – swear, true story – guy had a pet iguana he’d bring to gigs. Clients loved it, tipped extra! Quirky as hell, made me chuckle, thinkin’, “Man’s a legend!”

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab my usual—salmon, of course. But guess what? They were out! I mean, how do you run out of salmon on a sunny day? I was ready to throw a fit. But I settled for some weird tuna mayo thing. Not the same, man. Not the same.

‘Kind and genuine’ factory worker named after fatal crash