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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my place on Kiso River, right? Sippin’ my morning coffee, scrolling through emails, and boom! My boss hits me up. “Hey, we need you to handle the event at Inuyama Castle today.” Ugh, great. Just what I wanted. But hey, at least I get to see the castle, right?

Spectacular towering floats parade in central Japan festival dating back to 1635