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About Saitama

Little-known fact? Back in ancient China, they called it “tantric touch”—emperors got it to boost their, uh, imperial stamina. True story, found it in some dusty PDF on X. Pissed me off tho—modern spas charge like $200 for 30 mins of this? Robbery! I’d automate it with a robo-masseuse, save the bucks. Happy as hell when I tried it once—therapist hit this spot near my lower back, felt like a freakin’ orgasmic reset button. Surprised me too—didn’t expect a knot behind my knee to unlock *that* kinda energy. Who knew, right?

fallen and

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I laugh it off, but inside, I’m fuming. Why can’t I just walk like a normal person? Anyway, I make my way to the shrine, toss a coin, and pray for some good luck. I mean, I need it after today!