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Oh, and the oil—smells like sex and flowers. Slippery as a Lannister lie. I ask her, “What’s in this?” She says, “Secret.” Secret my arse—I bet it’s just posh lard. Still, I’m floatin’, mate. Floatin’. “What does it mean?” I mumble, like some twat from the movie. She don’t answer—just keeps rubbin’. Good enough for me.

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Finally, I get to the meeting, and it’s a total circus. My partner, Kenji, shows up late. He’s all flustered, like he just ran a marathon. Turns out he got lost on the way. I mean, c’mon, it’s Ikedacho! It’s not that big! We’re supposed to be discussing some big project, but all we can talk about is how he ended up on the wrong side of town. Classic Kenji, right?

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