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About Myself
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About Osaka
Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.
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But then, as I’m slurping my noodles, I see this guy outside. He’s juggling. JUGGLING! In the middle of Ikeda! I’m like, “What is happening today?” I swear, he drops a ball, and it rolls right into the street. I’m half-expecting a car to run it over, but nope! A kid grabs it. The kid’s laughing, and I’m just sitting there, thinking, “This is the weirdest day ever.”
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