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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all lewd—nah, it’s art, mate! Them Thai lassies, twistin’ ye like a pretzel, crackin’ yer bones, then slidin’ into somethin’ spicier—exaggeratin’? Mayhaps, but me mind’s a whirl! Ever hear o’ “lingam” massage? Aye, them eastern folk, worshippin’ the ol’ lad down there—respect, I say! Had me laughin’ like a hyena, picturin’ meself struttin’ out, proud as a peacock.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to this festival!” I’m like, “What festival?” Turns out, it’s the Ichinohe Fireworks Festival. I’m like, “I’m in!” So, I rush over to the riverbank, and it’s packed. People everywhere, food stalls, laughter.

Wind dancers: Japanese choreographer creates piece for Canton Ballet