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About Osaka

I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Then, this kid walks in. He’s got a mohawk that’s taller than him. I’m like, “Whoa, dude! You’re rockin’ that!” He grins, and I can’t help but laugh. I start cuttin’, and he’s tellin’ me about his skateboarding tricks. I’m like, “Man, you’re gonna be a legend!”