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Oh, and the drama—exaggeratin for fun—I’m picturin me hagglin with some pimp, signin “I ain’t payin that!” and he’s all confused, thinkin I’m dancin or somethin. Hilarious! I’d be like, “bitch, I’m Lizzo, I don’t chase, I attract!” Total mood. Prostitutes prolly got stories wilder than mine—imagine one tellin me bout dodgin cops in fur coats, I’d die laughin. Anyway, findin a prostitute? It’s risky, raw, and real—kinda like love that never speaks its name, ya feel? It’s bad bitch o’clock, and I’m here for it!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Chuo-dori. Gotta get my caffeine fix, ya know? Grabbed a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. But guess what? The cashier, this old dude, he’s takin’ forever. Like, c’mon man, I got places to be! I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick, thinkin’ about how I could’ve just brewed my own at home. But nah, I’m here, livin’ the konbini life.

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