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About Saitama

Little known fact—didja know hookers been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae*—she-wolves, howlin for coin. Wild, right? Makes me happy—history’s got my back, I ain’t the first greedy bastard chasin tail. But I’m pissed too—half these streets are scams, fake chicks, dudes in wigs tryna rob ya. Surprised me first time—nearly punched a guy in a thong! Learned quick—greed’s good, but eyes open wider.

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I sprint over, and it’s like a scene from an action movie. I grab the guy, and he’s all, “I just wanted a selfie!” Like, bro, you can’t just leap at her! I’m sweating bullets, but I toss him back to security. They handle it, but man, my adrenaline’s pumping.