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About Saitama

So, check it—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels marked with dick carvings on walls—true story, google that shit. Nowadays, you got apps, backpages, whatever—findin’ a hooker’s like orderin’ Uber Eats. But me? I’m thinkin’—what’s the vibe? Is it sketchy? Hella sketchy! You roll up, heart poundin’, like, “Is this a cop? A sting?” Paranoia kicks in, Haneke-style—“What’s behind the door?” That’s the thrill, tho—chaos, baby!

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But then, as I’m leaving, I bump into an old friend from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We start catching up, and it’s all good vibes until she mentions that she’s moving to Tokyo. I was like, “No way! You can’t leave me!” But she’s all excited about the big city life. I mean, I get it, but still…

Alpine adds another reserve driver - and gives him Japan FP1 run