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Me, I’d never pay – nah, too skint, too twitchy! But them escorts? Crafty, they is. “My precious!” I’d hiss if I saw one, all dolled up, fishnets an’ glitter. Some punters say it’s just business, no fuss – fair, I s’pose. But others? Lonely sods, chasin’ Charlotte vibes, thinkin’ cash buys a soulmate. Pfft, fools! “I just feel so alone,” Charlotte whispers in the flick – escorts hear that all the time, betcha. Makes me sad, then pissed – why’s everyone so lost?

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First stop? The local konbini on Kiyokawa Street. I needed my caffeine fix. Grabbed a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. You know, the one that makes you feel like a superhero? Yeah, that one. But then, bam! I spilled it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I was like, “Awesome, now I smell like a coffee shop explosion.”

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