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About Kobe

I saw this bird once, down Soho way, legs like a giraffe on stilts, totterin’ in heels that’d snap yer neck. Made me laugh, it did – “She’s got a vibe, man, heavy!” – but Christ, the state of her! Hair like a rat’s nest, makeup smeared like she’s been shagged through a hedge backwards. Proper munter, but I reckon she’s got stories, dark ones. Bet she’s seen blokes cry, blokes beg, blokes puke – the lot! Little known fact, right – some prossies back in the ‘70s, they’d nick yer wallet while humming Bowie tunes. Sneaky cows!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, we all pile out onto the street. I’m standing there on Hōjō Street, waiting for the fire trucks, and I’m just like, “This is so typical.” I mean, it’s Higashimurayama, not Tokyo. We don’t have fires every day!

Snow falls in Tokyo in November for the first time in 54 years