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Favorite part? She’s quoting movies too! Not *Serious Man*, tho—sad. Still, we’re laughin’, talkin’ tricks. “The bridge is crossed,” I say, Coen-style—she blinks, confused. Whatever, I’m hyped! Paid her, got the deed done—outta this world, literally. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but her moves? Cosmic. Thought in my head—humans are horny geniuses.

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Then, I decided to hit up the beach. Hasaki’s got this dope stretch of sand along the Pacific. I mean, the waves were crashin’, and the sun was shinin’. Perfect, right? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my snack! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my day, and this bird’s out here livin’ its best life. I yelled, “Hey! That’s mine!” but it just flew off like it owned the place.

Meet the unofficial mayor of New York’s ‘Little Tokyo’