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About Saitama

Surprised me, though—she’s smart, not just street-smart, book-smart. Quotes fuckin’ poetry while countin’ my cash. I’m like, “What the fuck, you Shakespeare now?” She’s a damn mystery, like *The Assassin*—quiet, but you feel the blade comin’. I’m hooked, man, can’t lie. Findin’ a prostitute like her? Rare, fuckin’ unicorn shit.

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After that, I was feelin’ good, so I headed to the riverbank. The Kitakami River was lookin’ gorgeous. I sat there, just takin’ it all in. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I was like, “This is life.” But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids starts splashing water everywhere. I’m talkin’ full-on water fight! I got soaked! I was mad at first, but then I just laughed. I mean, how can you stay mad when you’re surrounded by such joy?

When Ohtani hit his first ‘official’ homer, he also tossed a no-hitter