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Then there’s the good stuff—met this dude once, total freak. Sex-dating jackpot! We’re vibin’, he’s all “Your voice is my wiretap,” riffin’ on the movie. Hot as hell, made me blush—me, Bart freakin Simpson! Ate my shorts, he did, figuratively. Best hookup ever, no cap. Left me happy, like, whoa, this actually works?

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For foreigners, dating in Japan has always been difficult. There’s the language barrier, of course, but there are also particular Japanese cultural mores about dating and sex that you may not .

So, I help the guy up, and he’s all embarrassed. I’m like, “Dude, it’s cool. Happens to the best of us.” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, watch where you’re going!