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So, escort’s this wiry, wild thing, right? Used it for ropes, baskets, even shoes back in the day. Romans were obsessed, twisting it into sandals while conquering whoever. Little known fact: they called it “spartum,” and it was cash crop vibes. Nowadays, it’s all about eco-building and paper – sustainable, sure, but I’m like, “Where’s the drama, dahling?” I got mad when I saw some hipster blog say it’s “just grass.” Just grass?! Tell that to the artisans weaving it into art, you fool!

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Finally, my ramen comes, and it’s glorious. I take a slurp, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna join a gaming tournament later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember, I’m supposed to meet my fam for dinner. Ugh, why does life have to be so complicated?