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About Kobe

Fav bit? When it works! Mate, this one time—sparks, banter, proper shag. Felt like, “I’m alive! Alive!” straight outta Spielberg’s script. But mostly? It’s a slog. Profiles lie, pics from 10 yrs ago, and blokes actin’ like they’re God’s gift. “We shall fight them in the bedrooms!”—yeah, fightin’ off the creeps, more like.

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But then, right before closing, this guy comes in. He’s got a huge smile, and he’s holding a bouquet of flowers. I’m thinking, “Aww, sweet gesture!” But then he trips over his own feet and sends the flowers flying. They land right on my register! I’m just standing there, mouth agape, while he’s apologizing like crazy.

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