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Sex-dating’s a minefield, mate. Little fact for ya – back in ‘90s, folk used newspaper ads for this shite. “Single lad seeks lass, no weirdos.” Now it’s all digital, instant, bam-bam-bam. Surprised me how quick it moves. One night, I’m with this gal – fit as hell. She’s into some kinky stuff, right? Whips out a blindfold, I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, eh?” Next mornin’, she’s gone, nicked my bloody watch! Laughed my arse off – fair play, love.

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Then, I get to the factory on Shinjuku Street. The boss is already in a mood. He’s like, “We need to talk about the new anticorrosion formula.” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s just rust prevention, chill!” But he’s all stressed. I mean, it’s Gotenba, not Tokyo. We’re not curing cancer here.

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