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Now, *The Turin Horse*—that bit where the ol’ man’s eatin’ spuds raw? Reminds me o’ them desperate blokes on these apps. “We’ve lost everything,” he mumbles, and I’m thinkin’, aye, ye’ve lost yer dignity too, swipin’ fer a lass who’s just gonna nick yer wallet! Me, I’d rather charm a wench the old way—bit o’ swagger, bit o’ grog. But this sex-dating? ‘Tis quick, dirty, and—blast it—sometimes it works!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Route 246. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon bro, it’s just a rice ball! I’m about to lose it. Finally, he pays, and I grab my onigiri and a can of iced coffee. Life saver, right?

Japan’s iconic Mount Fuji: climbing routes and activities in Shizuoka