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About Kobe

Like, check this—dude I met last week, total catfish! Profile says six-foot, ripped, shows up lookin’ like a soggy sausage roll. Ruh-roh! I’m pissed, right? Wasted my night! But then this chick last month—woof, she was fire! Met her on Tinder, she’s all “let’s skip the bullshit,” and we’re bangin’ by midnight. Made me happy as a pup with a bone! Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes ya score, sometimes ya flop.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I ducked into a nearby café on Yamanaka Street. I ordered a coffee, and the barista was super chill. We started talkin’ about the weather, and he said Gojonome has the craziest rainstorms. I was like, “Yeah, no kidding!”