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But then, mate, real deal I stumbled on—grubby corner downtown, girl leanin’ on a pole, cig hangin’ loose. “Let me in,” she whispers, like Eli in the flick, all mysterious, got me hooked. Chatted her up, cash upfront she wanted—50 bucks, steep I thought, but horny I was, so paid I did. Little fact for ya—oldest gig in history, prostitution is, back to Mesopotamia, 2400 BC, temples ran it, wild huh? Surprised me that did, history nerd I am.

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First stop? The famous Gojonome Park. It’s this chill spot with cherry blossoms and all that jazz. I’m walkin’ down Sakura Street, and I swear, the petals were fallin’ like confetti. I felt like I was in a freakin’ movie. But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature.