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About Sapporo

Lemme tell ya, I’ve peeked at these mortals bangin’ it out—figuratively, mostly—and it’s wild. Fun fact: back in 2018, some nerds at Stanford said 39% of couples met online—sex-dating’s takin’ over, mates! Beats the old days of courtin’ with sonnets and syphilis risks. Now it’s “u up?” at 2 a.m.—efficiency, baby! Makes me happy, sorta—freedom to chase tail without Odin’s judgy glare. But it pisses me off too—half these profiles lie worse than I do. “6’2, loves dogs”—nah, mate, you’re 5’9 and allergic.

About this app

So, I’m sipping my sake, and this group of locals starts singing karaoke. They’re terrible, but it’s hilarious. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my drink. Then, outta nowhere, they pull me in to sing. I’m like, “No way!” But peer pressure is real, man. So, I end up belting out some old J-Pop song. I’m pretty sure I butchered it, but the crowd loved it.

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