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Here’s the kicker – Dolly once bedded a duke, yeah, a bleedin’ lord! Swore he left her a ruby ring, but she pawned it for gin. True story, mate, heard it from a cabbie who’d shagged her too – what a gas! Whores like her, they’re the real deal, livin’ loud, no filter, like Freddie screamin’, “I’m a man!” in that flick. Gets me jazzed up, but also – ugh – sad, y’know? She’d crash at my pad sometimes, cryin’ ‘bout coppers roughin’ her up. Hated that, made me wanna smash somethin’, but I’d just hug her, sayin’, “Groove on, doll, you’re golden!”

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Ginowan, and I swear, it felt like the universe was throwing curveballs at me left and right. First off, I’m a System Analyst, right? But today, I felt more like a circus juggler.

Object from US military helicopter falls onto elementary school in Okinawa