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I’m pissed tho – some parlors scam ya. Promise happy endings, deliver blue balls. Had one chick – hands like sandpaper. Felt like Vader’s glove malfunctioned. But when it’s good? Oh man, happy as a wookie with a bantha burger. Muscles melt, tension’s gone – “I’ve never felt so alive,” like Samantha says. Surprised me once – dude massaged my feet, found spots I didn’t know existed. Thought, “This guy’s a freakin Yoda.”

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Anyway, I finally get my stuff and head to the river. The Kurobe River is lookin’ fine today. Water’s glistening, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this huge boat comes cruisin’ by. I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to work here! The waves hit my raft, and I almost spill my fish! I’m shoutin’ at the guy, “Hey! Watch it!” But he just waves like I’m some kinda fan. Ugh!

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