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Great Scott, she’s a mess, tho—hilarious mess! Stumblin’ drunk, yellin’ at randos, “Pay me, asshole!” Seen her puke on a dude’s shoes—priceless! Sarcasm’s her thing, too—calls her tricks “princes.” Ha! More like frogs, amirite? Still, she’s got heart—heard she fed a stray dog once, all tender-like. Weird soft spot, huh? Makes ya think—whore’s human, too.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss drops a huge project on me. Like, “Hey, can you finish this by EOD?” I’m like, “Sure, no problem!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, who does that? I’m drowning in spreadsheets and emails.