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I seen one, yo, back in ’98, shady spot offa Bourbon Street. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret, walls creakin’ like my old fiddle case. This chick, Ruby, ran it – tough as nails, red hair wilder than a banshee. She told me, “Apollo, men pay for silence, not just tail.” Blew my mind, man! Ain’t just sex, it’s escapin’ – like hidin’ from that creepy-ass Pale Man. Little known fact? Them old-school brothels had secret tunnels – smugglin’ booze, dodgin’ cops, wild shit! Makes ya wonder who’s really pullin’ strings, ya dig?

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Next up, I’m meeting with a couple, the Yamadas. They’re looking to insure their new house on Koyodai. Beautiful place, right by the lake. I’m all excited, but then they drop a bomb. “We’re thinking of getting a pet tiger.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, who does that? I’m trying to explain the risks, but they’re just giggling. I’m thinking, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

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