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Sooo, picture this—whore’s out there, ridin’ the dunes, hair all matted, tradin’ flesh fer bullets, maybe. Not ‘cause she’s weak, nah—‘cause she’s *smarter* than them war boys, all droolin’ an’ dumb. “Witness me!” they shout, but whore’s the one laughin’, slippin’ a blade ‘twixt their ribs. Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Did ye know—true fact, swear it—that “whore” pops up in old sailor yarns? Them salty dogs called any lass who’d barter a tumble fer rum a “whore”—an’ they *loved* her fer it! Argh, makes me wanna dance, it does—happy, happy Gollum!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my buddy. “Dude, there’s a festival at the base of Fuji!” I’m like, “What?!” So, I finish my ramen in record time and race over. The vibe is electric! People everywhere, food stalls, music blasting. I’m in heaven.

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