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I roll up, see this chick, all sass, hips swayin’ like she own the block. I’m thinkin’, *damn, she fine*, but also, *this shit risky*. You gotta be sharp—some o’ these cats out here pimpin’ hard, and I ain’t tryna catch no fade. One time, I saw this dude get mad as hell, screamin’ at his girl ‘cause she shorted him 20 bucks. I was like, “Bruh, chill, it ain’t that deep!” Made me pissed, though—why you gotta flex like that? Weak-ass move.

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I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, the iguana’s owner showed up, and she’s furious. “You can’t just take my pet!” she’s yelling. I’m rolling my eyes. “Lady, your iguana was about to become sushi!”

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