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About Tokyo

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I’m a sign language interpreter, right? And today was just... wow. I woke up in Ebetsu, Japan, and thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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