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About Sapporo

Oi mate, ‘ere’s me, Ozzy fuckin’ Osbourne – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – talkin’ ‘bout whores, yeah! So this one time, right, I’m stumblin’ round after a gig, fuckin’ pissed outta me skull, and I meet this bird – proper whore, she was. Legs up to ‘ere, tits out, smellin’ like cheap fags and desperation. Reminds me o’ that bit in “Yi Yi” – y’know, “Life’s a fuckin’ dream, innit?” – ‘cept her dream’s more like a nightmare on a street corner.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a nearby café on Shōwa Street. It’s cozy, and the barista is super chill. I order a matcha latte, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s awkward, but kinda funny. They’re bickering about where to eat. I’m just sitting there, sipping my latte, thinking, “Man, just go for ramen!”

City near Osaka asks foreigners to apply for warlord role in parade