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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

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Then, I get a call from the police. They’re like, “We need backup near Chofu Park.” I’m like, “What’s going on?” Apparently, some kids are causing trouble. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need. Kids being kids.” But I send help anyway.

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