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About Saitama

What pisses me off? The liars! “Just lookin’ for fun,” they say, then boom—clingers! Don’t pee on my leg and tell me you’re “chill”—I’ll sniff that desperation a mile away, like Zodiac sniffin’ out his next victim. Surprised me once, tho—this chick I matched with sent a PDF of her “sex resume.” Freaky and pro-level weird—respect! Made me think, “This is my life now,” straight outta the movie.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. Grabbed a couple for breakfast. I’m munching on this tuna mayo thing, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m like, “Yesss, this is gonna be a good day!” But then, bam! My phone buzzes.

Chase from Chino to Compton ends when CHP slams into fleeing driver's car