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About Tokyo

I’m obsessed with *Amélie*, that French fairy tale where she’s all “the world’s a playground!” Escort’s kinda the opposite—more like “the world’s a hustle, deal with it.” Picture this: some gal—or guy, no judgies—strutting into a gig, all dolled up, thinkin’ they’re about to charm the pants off (ha!) some rich weirdo. Next thing, they’re dodging a dude who’s like, “I paid, so you’re mine.” Gross. Makes me wanna scream louder than when I flubbed my *SNL* lines. Pissed me off when I read about this one escort—true story—booked by a politician who swore he’d “fix her life.” Yeah, right, buddy, fix your comb-over first.

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After the lecture, I’m feeling all pumped. I head over to the Chikuma Shrine. It’s beautiful, man. The trees are so tall, they look like they’re trying to touch the sky. I’m wandering around, taking pics, when I spot this little kid trying to catch a koi fish. He’s all serious about it, and I’m just cracking up.

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