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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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But then, the weather turned. Outta nowhere, it started pouring! I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a convenience store, looking like a drowned rat. I grabbed a towel and tried to dry off, but it was a lost cause. I was just standing there, dripping, when the cashier gave me this look. Like, “What’s wrong with you?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Dude, I’m just trying to survive here!”

Chichibu: A cult Japanese whisky