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Favorite bit? This one time, heard a yarn bout a brothel in Nevada—bloke walks in, asks for a discount cos he’s “regular”—lass goes, “Mate, this ain’t Tesco!” Laughed me head off, proper belly-acher! Surprised me too—thought they’d be all moody, but nah, they got banter! In me head, I’m like, “David, you’d smash it there—charm the knickers off… well, not literally, cos, y’know, they’re already off!”

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We spent hours talkin’ about better practices. I showed him some organic options. By the end, he was pumped. I felt like a superhero. “You got this, man!” I said, and he smiled. That made my day.

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