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Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m no expert, just a bumbling fool stumblin’ through life’s mess. “Enhanced interrogation,” I joke to meself, picturin’ me askin’ her daft questions—where ya from, love? What’s yer fave crisp flavour? She’d prob’ly wallop me—fair dos. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it’s a lark, innit? Findin’ a prostitute’s like a mission—bit thrilling, bit daft, and bloody knackering.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the Ashibetsu River. It’s beautiful, like postcard material. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The water’s flowing, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Ashibetsu, how it used to be a farming town. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill.”

Meet the former Frederictonian behind a gem of a Canadian Instagram feed