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About Osaka

So, I tried it, ok? Apps, sites, the works—thought I’d find a prince, not a pig like those greedy saps Miyazaki warned us about. First date? Guy shows up, smells like stale ramen—ugh, made me wanna puke! I was, like, “Boy, bye, take your stench to Yubaba’s swamp!” Total bust, pissed me off big time. But then—THEN—second try, this chick, total babe, winks at me over drinks. I’m thinkin’, “Oh, I’m in—like Haku savin’ Chihiro!” Sparks fly, we’re vibin’, next thing ya know, it’s Netflix and *chillll*. Happy? Hell yeah, I was grinning like a damn fool!

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Next item up? A vintage samurai sword. I’m pumped. I mean, who doesn’t want a piece of history? I start my spiel, and suddenly, this lady in the back yells, “That’s cursed!” I’m like, “Cursed? Lady, it’s a sword, not a haunted house!” But she’s adamant. Turns out, she’s a local historian. She goes on this wild rant about how it belonged to some famous samurai. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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