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Me, I’d be crap at it—evil lairs don’t need massages, just minions screamin’. But those pros? They got skills, man. “A touch reveals,” like in the movie—every rub’s got intent, y’know? Exaggeratin’ here, but one wrong squeeze and bam—ya paralyzed! Ok, not really, but feels like it when they hit that spot.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into this cute little café on Omono Street. It’s called “Café de Lune.” Sounds fancy, right? I go in, and the smell of coffee hits me like a freight train. I order a matcha latte. I’m feeling all zen and stuff. The barista is super chill, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s a local artist. I’m like, “Dude, you should totally showcase your stuff!” She laughs, and I’m like, “No, seriously!”

Stroll along snowy trails in northern Japan with an Akita Inu