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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the Zushi Fish Market!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over there, and wow, the smell hits you like a brick wall. Fish everywhere! I’m not even a big seafood fan, but the vibe was kinda cool. I saw some fresh uni and almost fainted. People were haggling like it was a game show. “I’ll give you 500 yen for that!” “Nah, man, 700!” It was wild.

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